Not what you want to hear!

Hello, I'm back with the results from the op. I haven't posted much recently as I have taken a little break from this due to what happened back to the week of the 16th of April. If you have only just seen my blog to get the full picture go back to where my secret starts.

It's only Hair after all, my new wig collection and fantastic models!

This was a tough day...., as usual the appointment was late. I was greeted this time by a male surgeon Dr Hunt, who was about to tell me what I expected (lets be honest I hadn't had the best of luck). However again hearing the words are so much harder than you anticipate. As you may have guessed he confirmed that I did not have just DCIS but they had found a 9mm lump of Invasive Cancer, which they had removed (the positive). To add to this they had removed 6 lymph nodes that had all came back clear....yayyy this meant the cancer had not spread and I would not need to have all of my lymph nodes removed.

However the worst was to come as it was confirmed that I would need to have Chemotherapy. I think this is everyones worst nightmare! During this meeting not only did I have to deal with this but also was told I would need to see the fertility doctor prior to chemo.

That afternoon was hard as I needed to take in all this information and try to be okay with it which I wasn't, all I could think was I'm going to loose my hair, look ill and people are going to feel sorry for me (I really struggle with people being really nice and this still sets me off now). I have to give up work for approx 4 months how will I cope financially and I'm going to be so fed up with all this time off.

The first few days were hard and it took those days to let it sink in. That same week I saw the fertility specialist with my partner. Mrs Ready, what a lovely lady she was. Who would of thought at 25 you would be talking IVF and your chances of having children in the future.

I'm lucky that I was in a stable relationship and had his support as we discussed our options;

1 - I could have eggs removed and froze (We were not entitled to have an embryo froze).

2 - I could have a Zoladex Injection every 4 weeks during chemo which puts your ovaries into a dormant state and makes your body believe you are having the menopause. (This in turn protects your ovaries from too much damage for the future).

3 - Not to have anything but the likelihood of having children would be slimmer this way as no protection.

I was also told about a blood test I could pay to have which would give me my fertility score and then could have a 2nd one after chemo was completed to see the impact it had on my fertility.

I took all of this in and given the fact that only 5% or less concede on IVF I didn't fancy potentially delaying my chemo and being prodded down there. That was it... my decision was made I was ready to feel like a 50 year old women and enjoy the hot sweats during the summer months (If I had known we would of had the hottest summer for years maybe I would have chosen differently).

With the decisions made the only other appointment was to meet my oncologist and discuss my treatment plan.

I had a morning appointment and had written a number of questions to ask about the treatment. My Oncologist Dr Nelms was a young gentleman softly spoken, he confirmed that I would be having 6 x FEC-75, no radiotherapy but I would have a year of Herceptin injections after chemo and then 10 years of Tamoxifon tablets, not to forget I would be having the Zoladex Injections every 4 weeks during Chemo and 3 monthly heart checks during Herceptin, finally blood tests before every Chemo. (It's not as simple as you think).

I ask the typical questions I'm sure what can and can't I do, what food can and can't I eat, will this be the one that makes your hair fall out?, What side effects can I expect?

I came out of there with what I expected, do what you feel up too, avoid indoor crowded places (No flying, concerts, big events etc), eat what you fancy as your taste buds may change, Yes you will loose your hair but you can cold cap and in regards to side effects they are different for everyone, however the most common is sickness and fatigue.

So this was it, I knew what there was to come and now I needed to mentally prepare myself and face it head on... I was lucky to get a spontaneous mini break away to Paris with my partner, before this was all going to be a reality. All I will say is - if you ever come face to face with this, take a break before it starts as it will be hard and it wont be pretty but you will get through it, says me now its all over.

My mini Paris break was booked 2 days after I was given my Chemo date. I went out a girlfriend and came back a fiancé, which was a massive surprise. It's cliche I know, it wasn't under the Eiffel tower before you ask haha, but as my partner said... he wanted to do it later in the year, but the time felt right.

Purple is his favorite colour, mine is blue.

Thank you for your time to read my story so far. I will now always say make sure you check yourself and any hesitation get a second opinion!

I will post more pictures of my chemo journey in my next post, with my experiences and share another little secret with you all.

Ill be back soon...

Chanelle xxx

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