Shit Got Real


Hello everyone... I know I've been off the grid for a little while. Honestly, I have found it really difficult to get back into writing the last few months. I felt things had moved on so much for me and subconsciously I have tried to forget the last year and look to the future, especially as we ended the year on a high moving into our own home mid December 2018.


However, in the last couple of months I've had several messages from people who are going through what I have been through and how my blog has helped them with their own process. This has spurred me on to write again and to reveal more of my journey with you all. So, thank you to all you lovely Ladies I'm thinking of you all through your treatment and here if you need anything. it will be over before you know it - Positivity is Key.


What a year it has been... I finished chemotherapy just over 5 months ago and I'm currently rocking a granny hair style but, none the less its hair. Slightly different feel and texture than before but curls are forming- SLOWLY. It's been a really busy few months with moving and my beautiful cat Chemi is due to drop any day now, its like a new beginning.



Get in my belly - maybe out


Looking back, its all changed for me a year ago on February 14th 2018, when I had my first boob check at Thirlstaine Breast Centre in Cheltenham. Truth be known, I first noticed the lump at the end of January 2018 but had to attend my local hospital twice before they gave me an appointment in Cheltenham. Coincidently, I was back there this week on the 14th of February 2019 for my 1st Mammogram since it all began. It didn't take as long for them to scan this time, having only one boob (so lucky to have had my boob fondled or should I say squashed again on Valentines day... What a lucky girl I am)!! On a positive note - One less to worry about.


Who would have thought at 25 you would be diagnosed with Breast Cancer, under go life changing surgery (Mastectomy), complete 6 rounds of Chemo, start 18 rounds of Herceptin injections, 10 years of tamoxifen tablets and have a gene test (awaiting results). If that wasn't enough, let's also throw in being diagnosed with primary Lymphedema in your right leg. Yes this has turned my life upside down and now I'm trying to get used to my new normal. (I'll explain more about the leg in another post to explain in more detail and I'll post the link back here as well).


This past few weeks have been a little more difficult for me as it almost seems like a dream but with scars to show for it. I have found, being expected to fit back into what used to be normal really really hard and how everyone around you seems to have forgotten what you have been through... Not that I want a pitty party but bloody hell, just because the worst of it is over doesn't mean that it's all over mentally and emotionally... This is the side of things I've really struggled with, as people are so used to me being so strong and positive, but trust me I have plenty of moments where this is not the case. I often wish I could go back to my early 20's, wearing skirts, low cut tops, looking at travelling the world. Yes, I know I should be thinking that I'm very lucky to still be here and trust me, 80% of the time I do feel this but that other 20% I find myself looking at others and thinking I wish I was you and just enjoying life without any worries, which I'm sure if anything makes me more normal... I still have a long way to go to get to where I would like to be mentally but its a working progress and the first step is to accept I have an issue and then work on ways to make it better, who knows eventually a boob job may be on the cards... Melons!!!!


I wanted this to be a little opener and I plan to make more regular blog posts (so keep a look out) as I have lots still to tell you about my experiences last year and what is still to come with results, scans and wedding plans.


Thank you to everyone that has supported me throughout this last year. It hasn't gone unnoticed and has really helped me to get through this life changing event.


Thanks for reading and supporting me!


Chanelle

xxx









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